A few weeks ago, one of my favorite bloggers Una LaMarche (a.k.a The Sassy Curmudgeon) posted about a blind restaurant and I've been meaning to post because I, my friends, have experienced the culinary adventure that is blind dining. While it was dark, there was no waking up from this nightmare...(okay, maybe it wasn't a nightmare but it wasn't fun either).
Setting the Scene (a.k.a the context):
In 2007 I was working for my study abroad program in Copenhagen. Part of the deal was that you led a week-long trip to two European destinations with 30 college juniors in tow. Sounds awesome, doesn't it? Seeing as I was just out of college myself, I thought this was the sweetest thing ever. That is, until I was actually on the trip...
The particular theme of this trip was pre-med, so I had 36 of our future doctors and medical researchers on a bus headed from Copenhagen to Poznan, Poland for 3 days before going to Berlin for 3 days and heading back to Copenhagen. [Keep in mind, I knew EVERYTHING about these kids in my trusty binder...from all their prescriptions (i.e. birth control and inhalers) to dietary restrictions (i.e. - all allergies and vegetarians listed)]
While in Poland, their classwork consisted of going on rounds with emergency room pediatricians and shadowing autopsies. Completely uninterested in participating in all of the above, I waited outside and happily read my book. Though like most juniors in Europe, this crew ignored the fact that they might need strong stomachs to participate in their "classwork" and treated this week-long adventure like a bad remake of Euro trip. Fortunately for me and the other two group leaders, we then had to take care of the girl who was completely hung over and fainted giving herself a concussion and the boy who got sick in the autopsy. The real winner was the girl who slept with one of the other kids and came to us asking for the morning after pill. Hmm, we were in Poland...a very Catholic country. "Couldn't we get it FedEx'ed?" she asked. Man, she had a lot to learn. Meanwhile, the only question I had was - when did this become my life?!
We made it on the bus out of Poland on the way to Berlin slightly concussed, without child and still going strong. A good group leader always brings snacks so after I popped in a DVD, I passed around different snack options. When handing around peanuts, Bobby* tells me he can't have any because he's allergic. I double check the allergy list but it's not there...why? He didn't think it was important...remember this.
I shared all of that info so you could understand my mental state going into the evening (very similar to "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!")
Day 4: These kids are driving me crazy...
Blinded:
We arrive in Berlin, distribute room keys and hop on the bus for a tour of Berlin ending at, you guessed it: "Unsicht-bar." Typically when you go to Unsicht, you pre-select what you want to eat from the menu. With 36 students and three group leaders, everything was pre-ordered. Only I and the other group leaders knew we were having a simple evening of chicken and veggies. The vegetarians were having some pasta dish (yay! no more complaints about potatoes!). To make things easy, we put all the vegetarians at one table.
One by one, our blind waiters and waitresses came out and we lined up, putting our hands on the shoulders of the person in front so that the waitress could lead us in. As you go in, it's pitch black. You try to see any shimmer of light but there's nothing. The rule is once you're seated, you have to stay seated. The waiters and waitresses have the whole dining room mapped out in their heads and if anyone stands up, you could end up with an entire meal all over you. Before walking into the darkness, I had strategically placed myself at the table of non-beer drinkers since the deal with group dinners was that water was covered and the students had to buy anything else on their own. This proved to be a good strategy since in the first ten minutes I heard spills and girls screaming about being covered in beer. My table knew what was up and stuck with water.
Sitting and having conversations in the dark is completely bizarre. It makes you realize how many cues you get from looking at people. Now all I could rely on was intonation but all I could hear was nervous anticipation. To prep for when my food actually came, I decided I would put my water glass my forearm's length away from me. I put my napkin on my lap to catch any and everything and before I knew it, our food had arrived.
I took my fork and stabbed at my plate until I felt it get heavier - victory! I caught something. I brought the fork up to my mouth, skimming my cheek, placed the food in my mouth and took a bite. SQUIRT. WTF something is squirting in my mouth! Rest easy, it was only gnocchi but in that instant I realized I'm sensitive to texture. I was officially uncomfortable. After a few more attempts to stab food off my plate, I gave up and used the tried and true "caveman" method of my two hands. I took a bite of my chicken and tasted it. Peanut sauce. Shit. Bobby. I started yelling uncontrollably to our waitress, Sandra! I kept yelling for what felt like forever and also yelled to Bobby to tell him not to eat it. Finally, Sandra came and I told her the problem. She yelled at me for not telling the restaurant in advance but I had only learned that day and frankly the menu said nothing about peanut sauce. Sandra went off to make sure Bobby knew not to eat the chicken and everything was okay. I felt better knowing I didn't have to administer an epipen in the middle of the dark...
Feeling better and knowing Bobby was okay, it was time for dessert. Confident about the caveman method, I reached in to the bowl in front of me to find, I kid you not: ice cream. These Germans have a cruel sense of humor. Though they were nice enough to garnish it with chocolate sticks. Between ladling my ice cream soup and hoping to get my mouth, I reach down to get a chocolate stick. Instead, I end up holding one of the student's, Jonny*, hand.
"Jonny, why am I holding your hand right now."
"I wanted your chocolate stick."
"What's wrong with yours?"
"I ate it."
"You've got to be kidding me."
I placed his ice cream covered hand on his side of the table and waited for Sandra to walk us back to the light.
Once back in the lit part of the restaurant, I went to check on Bobby. He was fine but gave me some major attitude about how he was hungry. If only he had told us ahead of time, we could have made arrangements but he thought he was too cool for school. My advice to him was to buy one less beer and visit that McDonalds down the street.
Somehow at the age of 22, I had become responsible for 36 Euro-tripping 21-year olds and I needed a drink. Luckily after dinner the kids were on their own to explore Berlin so one of the other leaders and I ran away and enjoyed our moments of freedom, in a well-lit bar.
*Not their real names to A. protect the "innocent" and B. I totally forget their real names.
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